Jessica is Gross

Exactly how many costumes are in my sushi?

2010-07-25T23:29:00.000-04:00

To Tea Bag or not to Tea Bag..

2010-07-25T23:26:00.000-04:00

Ze Cockaroach!

2010-07-13T06:59:00.000-04:00

He's the Man with the Plan!

2010-06-10T19:19:00.000-04:00

One Dogs Mission to Get the Goods!

2010-06-10T19:17:00.001-04:00

Work It Out!

2010-05-12T23:08:00.002-04:00

More Cartoons coming soon!!

~Gross

Love & Death

2010-05-12T22:56:00.001-04:00

Enjoy my latest cartoon!!!

The Newest & Raddest Site in Miami.

2010-05-10T23:02:00.004-04:00

Check out my roommate

Liz Tracy's (Miami, Bro)latest creative baby:

My latest cartoon,

"Love and Death, The Story of the Florida Love Bug"

Enjoy!

J.Gross

Wait...Did you say you needed...

2010-05-10T22:49:00.007-04:00

....A Website Spokesperson?

I do that too!!!

http://www.mccloskeywindow.com/

http://www.enixassociates.com/

http://www.directmailcompany.com/

http://www.hawk-insurance.com/

Interview with WasabiFashionKult.com

2010-05-09T23:38:00.002-04:00

Check out my latest Interview with Pamela Wasabi from wasabifashionkult.com! We talk comedy, use big words, long legs and more...Click the link below to see what I'm fussing about.

;)

http://wasabifashionkult.com/2010/05/talking-about-jessica-gross/

These are a few of my favorite things...to doodle...

2010-05-09T23:33:00.001-04:00

The Everyday Heckler

2010-04-22T11:32:00.000-04:00

Why you should take the train or ride a bike in the City...

2010-04-17T10:30:00.000-04:00

I Could Eat You...

2010-04-17T09:07:00.000-04:00

The Aquatic Ape Theory

2010-03-25T23:05:00.000-04:00

...Star Wars Trivial Pursuit...Sexy!!

2010-03-23T09:34:00.003-04:00

Check out my lastest Comedy Video

from our live taping

at JTown.tv HD Comedy Showcase!!

A Cow is a Sea Cow is a Cow is a ?

2010-03-19T17:19:00.000-04:00

This Strawberry Life...

2010-03-15T23:26:00.000-04:00

How to change the Toilet Paper

2010-03-10T23:25:00.000-05:00

Our Travel Adventures

2010-02-22T11:38:00.001-05:00

Daydreaming of our Travel Adventures

Tha Dinner Party

2010-02-18T17:30:00.001-05:00

The Chronicles of Maynard

2010-02-12T13:21:00.000-05:00

Jessica Is Gross has a new shop!

2010-02-08T12:03:00.004-05:00

Need a fun gift?

T-shirts, Aprons, Coffee mugs and more...

Just click the link below

Healthy-Toons!

2010-02-04T23:18:00.000-05:00

Check it out!

2010-02-03T18:07:00.002-05:00

My Youtube Page!!!

http://www.youtube.com/user/jesstastic811

Daydreaming: Cartoon on the Cartoons

2010-02-01T23:43:00.000-05:00

The Poop-a-nator!

My voice can do other things besides tell jokes!

2010-01-27T09:58:00.002-05:00

Would you happen to be free this evening?

If so, Come down to the Miami Improv at 8PM! Help me WIN the Comedy Derby Competition, All I need is YOU! Mention my name at the Box office, get in "FREE" AND get a HUG*

Daydreaming-The Maynard Addition

2010-01-25T01:44:00.001-05:00

When Maynard Attacks!!!

Android Falls in Love

2010-01-22T13:08:00.000-05:00

What are your plans for this evening?

2010-01-20T10:45:00.002-05:00

Come out to the Miami Improv

for the Comedy Derby competition!

Show starts at 8pm!

Mention Jessica Gross at the box office

and get in FREE!

Daydreaming- On the farm!

2010-01-17T22:31:00.001-05:00

Carrot-oon Friday

2010-01-15T00:01:00.000-05:00

C-c-c-comedy Video Day!

2010-01-13T09:51:00.001-05:00

Happy Comedy Video Wednesday!

Daydreaming: Where two worlds collide...

2010-01-11T02:00:00.000-05:00

<3 Jessica

Epic Cartoon Friday

2010-01-08T01:00:00.000-05:00

The Imagination of a child...

Kar-Comedy-aoke

2010-01-06T00:00:00.002-05:00

LTLYM Week 19: #18 Recreate a poster you had as a teenager.

2010-01-05T23:02:00.000-05:00

Assignment #18
Recreate a poster you had as a teenager.

(Work is busy, I'm tired, I'm a day late..Poo)

Picture this as an actual giant movie poster...

Gardening Sundays Song!!!

2010-01-03T12:56:00.001-05:00

In this new year,WE SING!! Enjoy!Jess

New Years take over!

2010-01-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

Ring in the New Year with this wonderful gem!

2009-12-30T07:00:00.000-05:00

Let's close out 2009 in style.Even though this video frightened me enough to make it private, I realize I am not the person who takes herself too seriously.So, my treat to you... A Sing-A-Long! Lucky you! Enjoy & Happy New Year!Jessica

LTLYM Week 18: #10 Make a flier of your day

2009-12-28T08:59:00.002-05:00

Assignment #10

Make a flier of your day.

Go do something you've never done!

Jessica

Gardening Tips from Selina

2009-12-27T00:13:00.002-05:00

On the last Gardening Sunday of 2009,

Check out this video of one of my Gardening mentors

Selina...she's taught me everything I know!

Happy Cartoon Holidays!

2009-12-25T01:27:00.001-05:00

Re-Gifted Comedy Video Wednesday

2009-12-23T00:12:00.001-05:00

'Tis the Season for Re-gifting!!! Enjoy.J

LTLYM Week 17: #64 Teach us an exercise.

2009-12-21T13:30:00.000-05:00

Assignment #64
Teach us an exercise.

(Do to the fact that I am under the weather,

I decided to post this hilarious workout video instead)

Enjoy.

Jess

Gardening Education from Marty Chang

2009-12-21T13:25:00.002-05:00

OOPS! So, I've come down with a simple little cold and it threw off my whole schedule. While I lay here unable to breath, looking more and more like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reighdeer, I realized the Blog must go on....Gardening Sunday(on Monday) Ha!Jess

Cartoon Friday-The Birth of a New Character: Meet Android.

2009-12-18T01:00:00.000-05:00

Comedy Video Wednesday- Jessica Gross vs The "Friendly" Heckler

2009-12-16T07:54:00.001-05:00

Comedy Video Wednesday!!! See you tonight! Miami Improv! Show Starts @ 8pm!

LTLYM Week 16:#41 Document your bald spot

2009-12-14T07:00:00.000-05:00

Assignment #41
Document your bald spot.

Ask someone to photograph your bald spot (if you have one). The shot should be from the back using a slightly high angle and fairly close to the head, but a little background might be nice too.

(This isn't exactly a bald spot but you can see scalp...and Mr. Android!)

How to Prune your Herb Garden

2009-12-13T10:36:00.004-05:00

While most herbs don’t need regular pruning to grow, keeping your garden groomed will maintain plant shape and encourage healthy growth. Pruning woody herbs like rosemary, sage, lavender, thyme and tarragon can prevent plants from getting leggy and overgrown. Even soft perennials like mint can be reinvigorated with some light shaping

Step 1
Lightly prune—but do not shape—woody perennial herbs in early spring, shortly after new growth occurs. Remove any dead growth with pruning shears. Use lopping shears for extra leverage if you encounter very thick stems (on large, scraggly rosemary plants, for instance). Take care to ensure you only remove dead wood, as cutting live pieces may damage or kill plants.

Step 2
After herbs bloom in spring or summer, you can shape them. Wait until flowers fade; however, do not wait too long after bloom, or you run the risk of damaging new growth that formed on old flowers.
Step 3

To shape, clip the soft stems of woody and non-woody perennial herbs by up to one-third. Cut just above leaf nodes approximately 3 to 5 nodes down the stem. Annual herbs like basil can be cut completely to the ground each fall, as they will need to be replaced the following year (parsley, a biennial, can be cut to the ground in its second year).

Step 4
Though it’s not necessary, you can lightly prune herbaceous stems throughout the year to maintain plant shape. Remember to regularly deadhead all herbs by pinching off flowers to encourage healthy growth.

Happy Gardening!

Jess

Cartoon Boobie Friday!

2009-12-11T00:24:00.001-05:00

COMEDY VIDEO WEDNESDAY!

2009-12-09T01:30:00.003-05:00

Check out my latest Comedy Video

Jessica Gross vs. The Heckler

Enjoy!

Upcoming Shows:

Thursday 12/10- Gemma Lounge on South Beach. Ladies Night of Comedy

Show starts @9pm!

Saturday 12/12-Performing @ Tickles & Tunes,Harvey's @ The old American Legion Building. Show starts @8pm!

Wednesday 12/16-Hosting New Faces of Comedy, Miami Improv in Coconut Grove.

Show starts @ 8:30pm!

LTLYM Week 15:#36 & Re-do #44 Make a "LTLYM" Assignment.

2009-12-07T07:00:00.000-05:00

Why have a re-do? Well, I actually realized after the fact that

LTLYM had already set up an assignment for gardening.

Assignment #36
Grow a garden in an unexpected spot.

Find an unexpected public place that you can plant flowers seeds in and water over a period of time. Possible locations could be a vacant lot, a median strip, a public park, etc.
And if you've seen my backyard, its an unexpected spot. http://jessicagrosscomedy.blogspot.com/2009/11/ltlym-week-1244-make-ltlym-assignment.html

BUT they don't have an assignment called "Make your own Halloween costume"

Assignment #44
Make a "LTLYM assignment".

We sometimes get suggestions for assignments, but since that's the part of the project that we like to do we don't put them on the site. But making up your own assignments and doing them is really what its all about. So for this assignment we are asking you to think up a LTLYM assignment and then to make one example of how it should be done. Stay within the realm of the website: assignments that bring people together and give them a new way to feel something

This past halloween, my boyfriend and I decided to create our own costumes. With our creative talents combined we designed our 2009 costumes:

Alka Selter tablet & a Tall drink of Water

Gardening 101-Protecting Your Garden from Cold Weather

2009-12-06T11:07:00.004-05:00

Good Sunday Morning to Everyone!

After a crazy week off from my blog, I am back!

Since today is Gardening Sunday's here at JessicaisGross.com, I decided to find some information about protecting your garden from cold weather. (Note: I do live in South Florida and cooler weather means 50 degrees)

How to Protect Garden Plants From Cold Weather

from ehow.com

Protecting your garden from the harsh elements of winter takes some preparation. With the right materials, though, you should be able to save most of your plants from frost and the cold. Here are some ideas on how to do so.

Step 1
Cover trees, ferns and plants with a protective material like burlap, old blankets, or sheets.

Step 2

Layer a thick ring of mulch around the trunk of your evergreens to help lock in moisture in the soil around them and protect their roots. Make your own mulch out of old grass clippings, bark, sawdust, peat moss and fallen leaves.

Step 3
Pot fragile plants and move them inside your garage or greenhouse when frost hits the rest of your garden.

Step 4
Leave any dead branches or leaves on a tree or plant until the worst of the frost is over. Though not the most attractive of sights, they will actually protect your plants from further damage

Happy Cartoongiving Friday!

2009-11-27T03:36:00.000-05:00

....with all the Peta commercials,

and bad press the turkeys are getting

I'm thinking there might be a power shift..

Hope everyone had an amazing holiday with friends & family!

Jess

A little advice.....

2009-11-25T00:18:00.002-05:00

NO HITTING ON BLACK FRIDAY!!!

Because I'm a lady......

Have a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving!Jess

LTLYM Week 14: #70 Say Goodbye

2009-11-23T09:59:00.002-05:00

Assignment #70
Say goodbye.

Sometimes it's hard to say goodbye. It just feels easier to keep holding on. But in the long run it's usually a good idea to let go, it's the daring thing to do. It allows room for new things, for transformation. And maybe the goodbye isn't even forever, but you can't know until you really say goodbye and mean it. In some cases, goodbye is really the end, and good riddance! For this assignment, say goodbye to all the things you need to let go of: bad habits, dead people, alive people, ex-boyfriends and girlfriends, self-destructive feelings and behaviors, jobs, projects, re-occuring thoughts, etc.

It can be as long or as short as you like. And, most importantly, take a moment with each one to really say goodbye. This isn't a catalogue of your fears and faults, this is a ceremony to bid them farewell.Please don't send us HELLOS, only goodbyes.

Goodbye Road Rage
Goodbye Mood Swings
Goodbye to my parents dog, Bailey
Goodbye Toyota Matrix
Goodbye impatience
Goodbye inflexability for plans changing
Goodbye financial irresponsibility
Goodbye clumsiness
Goodbye Grandma & Grandpa Gross
Goodbye to anxiety
Goodbye to my inability to spell
Goodbye to chinese tattoo...(Hello robot)
Goodbye to eating poorly
Goodbye to goodbye's

Got Water?

2009-11-22T13:01:00.000-05:00

Tips for watering your garden....

Here are some tips to ensure you water your garden properly.

•Balancing plants' water needs is like having a healthful diet. Everything should be consumed in moderation. Provide your plants with enough water for good health, but don't flood them with it.

•Apply water in the cool of the morning or evening when the wind is calm, the sun is less hot, and water loss through evaporation is minimal.

•Avoid watering disease-susceptible plants at night. If water sits on plant foliage for hours, it can encourage fungal diseases to attack leaves, buds, flowers, and fruit. Plants susceptible to leaf spots, fruit rots, and flower blights are best watered in the morning, when the warming sun will quickly dry off the leaves and discourage fungus development.

•Provide an inch of water a week for many plants and lawn grasses. The idea is to keep the soil lightly moist and to prevent it from drying out completely, which would be damaging to most plants. But because plants don't always follow the rules, there are exceptions to this general guideline:
•Hot weather, dry sandy soil, or crowded intensive plantings or containers may make more than an inch of water a week necessary.
•When the weather is cool, the plants are widely spaced, or the soil is heavy and moisture-retentive, less water may be required.
•Young or new plantings require more moisture at the soil surface to help their budding roots get started. You should water lightly and more frequently to accommodate their needs.
•Mature plantings with large root systems can be watered heavily and less often than younger plants. The moisture soaks deep into the soil and encourages the roots to thrive.

•Set a rain gauge in an open area of the garden to learn how much water the garden receives each week. You can purchase one at a garden center or use a topless coffee can. After each rainfall, check the depth of the rain inside. A commercial rain gauge is calibrated and easy to read. To read rain levels in a coffee can, insert a ruler and note how high the water has come. Judge the need for supplemental irrigation accordingly.Rain gauges are also helpful when trying to determine when you have watered enough with an overhead sprinkler. Since some sprinklers apply water unevenly (more up close and less farther out), you could set several rain gauges around the garden and compare the amount of moisture each one collects. If the readings vary widely, move the sprinkler more frequently or invest in a more efficient model.

http://home.howstuffworks.com/water-tips-for-gardening.htm

Happy Gardening!

Oops...I think I shrinked it....

2009-11-20T05:00:00.001-05:00

New Car....toon Friday!

Comedian Jessica Gross goes CRAZY!!!

2009-11-18T07:00:00.000-05:00

LTLYM Week 13: #45 Reread your favorite book from fifth grade.

2009-11-16T09:26:00.000-05:00

Assignment #45
Reread your favorite book from fifth grade.

Find a copy of your favorite book from when you were in the fifth grade. If you can't locate the original copy try to find one that is from the same era. Reread the book. Scan or take a picture of the cover and send that to us. Please make sure that we can see everything on the book cover very clearly, and don't crop anything out

Gardening Sundays-ANTS!

2009-11-15T08:00:00.001-05:00

On my first day of gardening....

Yes, my first day, I managed to run into a slight little nuisance, ANTS.

This horrible feeling came over me,

that I would have to dump everything and start over.

Before I over-reacted, I researched.

Here is what I found:

Garden Varieties
For most species, control is only necessary in the garden if the population gets out of hand. Garden varieties do not actually eat plants or actively destroy any plant matter. Their main source of food is sugar, usually found in nectar, sap, or the honeydew excrement from aphids. In some cases, garden ants can actually be a beneficial insect as they will kill off more destructive pests like caterpillars. They are also natural soil aerators through their extensive tunneling systems. As food for beneficial animals such as birds, lizards, and toads, they will also encourage wildlife to flourish in your garden.

Fire
Anyone who has had a personal run in with a fire ant colony can easily consent to the significance of their hazard to humans and animals. There is a reason they carry the name “fire,” as the sting from these insects creates severe pain and even allergic reactions in some people. Of the ant species, these are the most destructive and dangerous in the garden. Not only can their battling stings hurt, the poisons are capable of killing small animals, reptiles, and birds. Their extensive social nesting system can cause major damage to garden plants. As the worst offender of the ant family, if they are present in your garden, it is time for some control methods.

Ant Control
No matter what types you want to reduce, the control methods are similar. As any species can hurt plants by mining nests around roots, if they are excessive in your garden, you will want to reduce the population. They are most problematic to new plants with young roots and lawns. In lawns, you know they are present when you see nest mounds that smother the grass and create unsightly patches. An easy solution to this problem is to grow your grass longer to hide the patches and live with the ants. If this is not your preference, you will have to treat the nests.

In addition to their nesting structures, they have another characteristic that can quickly create a problem in your garden – farming other insects. Certain varieties actually farm aphids for their honeydew. This can quickly create a rather significant aphid problem in your yard as the ants will kill off their natural predators.

When controlling colonies, you cannot simply kill off the individuals. You must either redirect their efforts or completely eradicate the nest. As ants are generally a non-invasive pest, it is always best to use non-invasive controls.

Treating the Nest
Insecticides that kill ants are Diazinon or Carbaryl, both are biodegradable after a few days. Organic gardeners prefer the chemical pyrethrum for control. Although it is safer environmentally, it does kill off other beneficial insects.

Redirection
In many cases you can control their efforts and not have to completely eliminate them. If you have a variety that likes to tend the sap sucking insects on trees, you can keep them out of the tree through redirection. Basically, you block their path with sticky barriers around the trunk, pruning low branches, and natural barrier products such as diatomaceous earth or cinnamon powder sprinkled around the tree.

Generally speaking, you can easily retrain your ants to avoid the areas of the yard you don’t want them in and send them off to the parts where they can actually be beneficial. Two easy kitchen methods are honey and apple cider vinegar. Honey will lure them and apple cider vinegar discourages them. Place a small jar of honey where you want them to live and spray apple cider vinegar on their paths that lead to the places you don’t want them to go.

(Above is the product I purchased from Home Depot)

http://garden.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Ants

Hey? Is that yours? Can I chew it up?

2009-11-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

These are a few of Maynard's favorite things...

by Jessica Gross

Work Shoes
Used Tissues
Anything in the trash
Cat poop
Female Hygiene Products
Roommate's underwear

Happy Weekend to all. And to all a Goodnight!

Jess

Wanna Go Camping?

2009-11-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

Adventures in Camping....

Happy Comedy Video Wednesday.

Come out tonight to the Hard Rock Improv. I will be hosting the Turkey Contest @ 8pm!May the best comedian win a spot to feature at the Improv and the worst eat a delicious Turkey...Wait?Who is really winning this?See you tonight. Jessica

LTLYM Week 12:#44 Make a "LTLYM" assignment

2009-11-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

Assignment #44
Make a "LTLYM assignment".

We sometimes get suggestions for assignments, but since that's the part of the project that we like to do we don't put them on the site. But making up your own assignments and doing them is really what its all about. So for this assignment we are asking you to think up a LTLYM assignment and then to make one example of how it should be done. Stay within the realm of the website: assignments that bring people together and give them a new way to feel something.

Start your own Garden.

Create your own garden. Document it each week with photos.

Check back each Sunday for updates on my garden.

Happy Toon Day!

2009-11-06T00:01:00.000-05:00

Happy Cartoon Friday!

Enjoy your weekend.

I don't know if I would be as scared if they looked this fabulous.

Jess

Enjoy the soothing sounds of my voice....

2009-11-05T02:28:00.000-05:00

Comedy "Fan" Video Wednesday

2009-11-04T00:01:00.001-05:00

This week we have a special treat.

One of my #1 fan's, Cali Ramsey,

decided to be me for Halloween...

Ya..ME...

As if that was flattering enough,

she then performed some

of her favorite material.

And now for your viewing pleasure

Special Love & Thanks to Cali Ramsey!!!

LTLYM Week 11: #39 Take a picture of your parents kissing

2009-11-02T01:28:00.002-05:00

Assignment #39
Take a picture of your parents kissing.

Take a picture of your parents kissing (or at least hugging).

Do not send us an older picture of your parents,

we are looking for a new picture taken specifically for this assignment.

Cartoon Friday

2009-10-30T07:00:00.001-04:00

Cartoon Friday

brings you "The Great Fruit Massacre"

by Jessica Gross

C to the omedy- V to the ideo- Wednesdays!

2009-10-28T09:53:00.003-04:00

At Jessica Is Gross,

we care about the environment! That's right!!

We recycle, reuse, and replay....Check out this video

from the Miami Improv about the

Adventures of Dating a Younger Guy!!!

See you tonight at the Miami Improv!!!New Faces of Comedy.Show starts at 8pm!

LTLYM Week 10:#43 Exhibit art from Parent's house.

2009-10-26T00:29:00.004-04:00

Assignment #43
Make an exhibition of the art in your parent's house.

This will be an online exhibition, existing as a slide-show on the site. Take pictures of your parents art. This is the art you grew up with -- that picture that has always hung above the toilet, the abstract print that confused you as a child, the statuette of an angel -- art so familiar that you might not even think of it as art. But it is! And it shaped your vision of reality.

Hope you enjoyed these paintings from my parents house. All of these were done by my Grandmother Lucille Gross.

<3>

New Cartoon Day!!!

2009-10-23T00:37:00.000-04:00

Meet my Parents pet turtles:

Harold & Kumar*
Let the adventures begin!

*The message was approved by the real Harold & Kumar

Who? What? Where?

2009-10-21T09:00:00.001-04:00

Performing at Casa De Haha in Sweat Records

This weeks subject- Karaoke

Come out and support local comedy! New Faces of Comedy show@ the Ft. Lauderdale ImprovI will be hosting the nights festivities. TONIGHT @ 8pm!!!

LTLYM Week 9: #40 Heal yourself

2009-10-19T10:20:00.001-04:00

Assignment #40
Heal yourself.

After losing a toenail to clumsiness, I couldn't bare going 6 month with a naked toe. So I healed my vanity with a temporary toenail.

:) Jessica

Brand Spanking New Cartoon Friday!!!

2009-10-16T00:26:00.002-04:00

Let's start your weekend off right.....

I know you have waited all week!!

Check out my latest Cartoon, "Guy Movies"

Jess

((^o^))
look its a pumpkin...sorta

Ya'ay! Comedy Video Wednesday

2009-10-14T08:45:00.001-04:00

This week's comedy video is from

this months Casa de Haha

at Sweat Records

For the love of Handicapped Bathrooms...

Don't forget next month's Casa is Nov. 10th.Check out Sweat Records for their upcoming events!
Jess

Winner!!! Cartoon Comment Contest!

2009-10-13T14:33:00.002-04:00

3rd place: Pam Bruno "Surprise, you are all at a Group Therapy session for psycho losers! I am Dr. Gross, and you each owe me $150. Ha!"(calling me a doctor..bwauhaha)

2nd place: Lucas Levya "Nou bezwen yon dokte mis touswit, Sekonsa- piti piti!"(For even knowing Creole..well done)

The winner: ME...ya that's right..it's my cartoon and I liked mine the best.

But tonight I will randomly give out a free t-shirt at Sweat Records...so see you at 9pm!

LTLYM Week 8:# 50 Take a flash photo under your bed

2009-10-12T00:48:00.003-04:00

Assignment #50
Take a flash photo under your bed.

Don't vacuum or alter anything under your bed beforehand. Take a photo under there with a strong flash, preferably with the camera sitting on the ground. Make sure your photograph is in focus! We are looking for photos that depict the space between the bottom of the bed and the floor, please do not send us photos if your bed is flush against the floor or if it is a loft bed.

Happy Columbus Day!

Jessica

Cartoon Contest

2009-10-09T08:00:00.003-04:00

Good Morning Readers!

On this Cartoon Friday I have decided to do a contest!

Let's see who can come up with the best comment for this cartoon.

The cartoon takes place @ Lost & Found Saloon Restaurant

The Winner will receive a free custom T-shirt*!

Good Luck.

Jessica

*the winner will be decided by the end of the weekend & will receive their prize at Casa De HaHa this Tuesday!

New Comedy Video Day!

2009-10-07T07:00:00.005-04:00

Happy Hump/Comedy Video Wednesday Day!

Take a look at this...

performed at The Ft. Lauderdale Improv

"Fools Of Comedy" Show

In Response to the popular Facebook Video

"Texting while driving"

LTLYM Project-Week 7: #14 Write your life story in less than a day

2009-10-05T08:00:00.001-04:00

Assignment #14
Write your life story in less than a day.

In no less than one hour and no longer than 24 hours write your entire life story starting with your birth and ending with today. Try to get as many details in as possible, that will make it more interesting. Don't feel frustrated by the time limitation, it will make the task less daunting, (besides you have the rest of your life to write a more complete version if you want to) at the same time seriously try to remember everything you can from your life so far.

Now this isn't my entire life story but it is a good section of it.

Enjoy

Jessica

______________________________________________________

If you had asked me 10 yrs ago where I expected to be at 28, I would have never guessed this. Flashback to the year 1999; I had just started college and began dating my first serious boyfriend, who was older by a few years. Things were going well except for this: my dad hated my boyfriend. So I did what any rational teenaged girl would do: I went to Vegas and eloped.

My husband was in the United States Marine Corps, so for the next 6 years of my life instability was the rule. We moved cross country several times and I found myself isolated in a way I never expected. My husband would leave for months at a time and come back a different person than the one I married. I used to hope for an upgrade - sleeker, better, more attentive - but I always ended up with a slower, bloated and less responsive version - kind of like every new iteration of Microsoft Windows.

I started a career as an Interior Designer in the tiny little town of Morehead, North Carolina where the most common interior design problem was matching a stuffed marlin to the periwinkle blue duvet cover in the guest bedroom. I had dreams of merrigolds and baby blue window trim and lived the sort of life at home on HGTV, if HGTV had shows about lonliness, bad marriages and unfulfilling careers.

My divorce finalized on the 13th day of March 2006. It was a Friday. I was 24 years old, married, divorced and had already sold my first home. At this rate, I'd either be retired or dead by 30. I was always a bit of an overachiever but this was ridiculous. To misquote Monty Python, it was time for something completely different.

The first time I got on stage, I was so nervous it was all I could do not to poop. Instead, I grabbed the mic and started to vent about my divorce, my stupid tatoos and all the choices I'd made that brought me to this very moment. The release was incredible and immediate. It was like letting go of a hundred red balloons and watching them float away, only to land in an ocean somewhere and strangle a bunch of sea turtles.

Over the past 18 months, I've performed on stages across South Florida, in Denver, Colorado and beside a knitting group in a battle royal style cage in a dimly lit bar in San Francisco, California. I've regailed complete strangers with the intimate adventures of my vagina and undeservedly lost a stand-up comedy competition to a girl in a wheelchair.

My name is Jessica Gross. I'm 28 years old and I am stand-up comedian.

Maynard is Gross

2009-10-04T12:39:00.002-04:00

Happy Sunday Morning!

As all pet owners know,

our pets sometimes do things we find, well.... Gross

Meet Maynard, my beagle.

(sans nipple or icky skin growth)

We recently moved into a new apartment,

that inhabits a roommate with a sweet cat named Tito.

The difference between Cats & Dogs, Dogs poop outside but Cats poop inside.

My little pooch has found a tasty snack.

Maynard is Gross!

Cartoon Friday - Lessons in Choosing Your Halloween Costumes

2009-10-02T09:26:00.008-04:00

HAPPY CARTOON FRIDAY

To celebrate the Fall season, some lessons

in choosing your Halloween costume.

Jessica Gross

Comedy Video Wednesday

2009-09-30T09:19:00.004-04:00

Good Comedy Video Wednesday to you!!!

On this wonderful Wednesday morning,

I bring you the joys of drinking and dancing!

Enjoy!
Jess

LTLYM Project-Week 6: #42 List Five Events from 1984

2009-09-28T01:26:00.004-04:00

Assignment #42
List five events from 1984.

List five important things in your 1984. These are things that had a major impact on you during the year 1984. They can be personal, political, cultural, animal or whatever. Each important event should be summarized in one sentence.

•On August 11, 1984- I turned 3 yrs old...So, I don't remember much
•The Cosby show premiers.
•Indira Gandhi is assassinated.
•Stonewashed jeans are introduced.
•Revenge of the Nerds was released in theaters

www.learningtoloveyoumore.com

Cartoon Friday- The Weather Man

2009-09-25T00:13:00.005-04:00

Happy Cartoon Friday

"The Weather Man"

Jessica Gross

Comedy Wednesday is Here!

2009-09-23T01:08:00.003-04:00

Happy Comedy Video Wednesday!!!

Check out my latest comedy video.

Performed at the Miami Improv

See what happens when an audience member gets involved.

Also, Come out tonight (9/23/09) for the "New Faces of Comedy"

@ The Ft. Lauderdale Improv

Show starts @ 8pm!

Enjoy!

Jessica

LTLYM Project-Week 5: #16

2009-09-21T00:23:00.003-04:00

Assignment #16

Make a paper replica of your bed

Using paper, cardboard, colored pencils, glue and/or tape, make replicas of your sheets, blankets, comforters, pillows and anything else that comprises your bed. Then assemble them the way you assemble your bed. The completed bed should be roughly the length of a pencil. Take special care to reproduce the patterns on the fabric and any stains or other irregularities.

Do something creative today!

<3 Jess

http://www.learningtoloveyoumore.com/

Check Me Out on NBCMiami.com!!

2009-09-19T10:49:00.004-04:00

New Face of Comedy

"Local comedian Jessica Gross tackles dating a younger guy, being a tall woman and even, the humdinger, abortion"
By LIZ TRACY

To read the full article just click the link below:

http://www.nbcmiami.com/around-town/events/New-Faces-of-Comedy-59416897.html

Cartoon of the Week-"The Art of Not Listening"

2009-09-18T01:07:00.001-04:00

Cartoon of the Week

"The Art of Not Listening"

by Jessica Gross

Watch! Comedy Video Wednesday!!!

2009-09-16T00:51:00.002-04:00

Good Morning to You!!!

Check out my new comedy video
performed at the Ft. Lauderdale Improv
"Fools of Comedy"Show

"Tall Lady"

Enjoy
Jess

Changing of a Name & LTLYM Project -Week 4: #11

2009-09-14T09:24:00.004-04:00

Assignment #11

Photograph a scar and write about it

Photograph a scar on your body or on someone else's body. Make it a close-up shot so that it shows just the scar. Include a story (write it on a computer as a separate file, don't write it on the photograph) about how the scar happened. Please do not send images of wounds that are fresh and have not healed. Only images of scars will be accepted.

So I broke the rules...

This past weekend, my Beagle Maynard had his skin growth removed. Or what I have also called his "Nipple" By the suggestion of many kind people, I took him to a local vet in Coconut Grove to have him checked out. To my happy surprise they said it would cost $85 (instead of the $1500 some large chain store, that rhymes with letsmart) wanted to overcharge me.

Now, with Maynard being nippleless, I needed to rename the blog.
And couldn't think of a more appropriate title then:

"Jessica Is Gross"

Happy Monday to all of you!!!

Jess

New Blog Schedule

2009-09-10T13:10:00.001-04:00

Starting Next Week!!!

New Blog Schedule

Monday:
New assignments from "Learning to Love You More"project

Wednesday:
New Comedy Videos

Friday:
New Cartoons

Keep checking back for daily updates!!!

Thought Bubbles

2009-09-09T09:19:00.002-04:00

"Thought Bubbles"

Sometimes the process in my head is just as a amazing as the end result.

by Jessica

Comedy Video Tuesday!!! Public Cell Phone Conversations

2009-09-08T09:16:00.002-04:00

Check out my new comedy videoperformed at the Ft. Lauderdale Improv"Fools of Comedy"Show"Public Cell Phone Conversations" EnjoyJess

Learning to Love You More Project-Week 3:#27 Take a picture of the sun

2009-09-07T13:29:00.006-04:00

Assignment #27
Take a picture of the sun.

Take a picture of the sun. Just a picture of the sun, nothing extra or fancy. Please make sure the sun is visible in the photo, we won't accept reflections of the sun or photos where the sun is not visible. Please be careful not to look directly at the sun through your camera's viewfinder; looking directly at the sun could damage your eyes. If you need to, just point the camera towards the sun and shoot the photo.

(Hollywood Beach, FL)

(San Francisco, CA)

(North Miami, FL)

http://www.learningtoloveyoumore.com/

Goodbye Summer/ Hello Fall

2009-09-02T09:10:00.002-04:00

"An Ode to those Sweaty Days of Summer"

Jessica Gross

Comedy Video Tuesday - Pets & their love for us

2009-09-01T08:58:00.006-04:00

Happy Comedy Video Tuesday!

Dogs & their (unnatural) love for us.

Performed at the Hollywood Performing Arts Center,

Hosting for Mike Destefano

Enjoy,

Jess

Learning to Love You More Project-Week 2:#33 Braid Someone's hair

2009-08-31T09:03:00.003-04:00

Week 2:

Assignment #33
Braid someone's hair.

Offer to braid someone's hair--could be a friend, relative or stranger.

If you know any fancy styles of braiding, let's see them.

http://www.learningtoloveyoumore.com/